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Forgive, But Don’t Forget: Sexuality & Healing From Religious Trauma

 An illustration depicts a pair of dark-skinned hands holding and looking through a photo album on a table. One hand is turning a page, revealing a photograph of four smiling people sitting together, while the other hand holds a separate photo of three people wearing rainbow accessories, embracing and smiling. A purple bookmark with a Christian fish symbol is tucked into the album. A Holy Bible lies on the table nearby. The bold title "Embodied" is displayed at the top of the illustration.
Charnel Hunter

When we’ve experienced wrongs and trauma at the hands of the people and institutions that once supported us, how do we forgive — and heal?

When Celeste Gracia was 17, her religiously conservative parents sent her to conversion therapy.

“ The phrase that was repeated over and over and over again is, ‘Homosexuality is a deviant behavior of Christianity. And homosexuality is a sin,’” said Gracia. She described her parents' fear as, “If I'm gay, I will not go to heaven. And from their perspective, they just want us to be together in heaven forever.”

Gracia went to conversion therapy the same summer that the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage, giving queer people across the country cause for celebration. It would take years before she felt that same joy and freedom. This year, as she reflects on the 10 year anniversary of that ruling, the 27-year-old environment reporter at վ talks with Anita about how recent political events are prompting her to reflect on her long path to healing.

Anita also talks to therapist about how Celeste’s story fits into a broader context and why religious trauma is so challenging to heal.

“Not only are you yourself trying to heal and grow from these negative messages you've received — you're also doing it while the people in your life are learning alongside you, if they're willing to understand how what they've done has been so harmful,” Bell said.

Read the transcript

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Audrey Smith is a writer, educator, and temporary producer of "Embodied" based in Greensboro, NC. She holds a Master's degree in Secondary English Language Arts Education from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro (2018) and a Master of Fine Arts degree in Nonfiction Writing from Oregon State University (2021).
Anita Rao is an award-winning journalist, host, creator, and executive editor of "Embodied," a weekly radio show and podcast about sex, relationships & health.
Kaia Findlay is the lead producer of Embodied, վ's weekly podcast and radio show about sex, relationships and health. Kaia first joined the վ team in 2020 as a producer for The State of Things.